ROTG: Pitch's Prank(s)
by Rosepoison
Summary: Pitch is back, and still mad as heck. He can't do anything REALLY fun to the guardians (i.e. torture, kill, cause them to have nightmares for the rest of their unnatural lives), but he CAN turn their world upside down. No pairings, a bit fluffy, first fic.
1. Day 1: Jack Frost

_**I do not own ROTG (Rise of the Guardians), nor have I ever.**_

Pitch snarls/laughs to himself, thinking of the chaos to come. It's spring (in the northern hemisphere), and Pitch is ready for revenge. Pitch Black 'woke up' at the end of the very winter he was defeated on. He is too weak to exact his complete revenge on the guardians. No, he won't be coming back in full blast for another two decades or so. Until then, he can amuse himself with a ''little'' prank involving his arch enemy. Pitch ''chuckles'' once again.

**. . .**

Jack flies back to the Warren, absolutely exhausted from making one of his biggest snow storms of the season. He leaves an almost invisible trail of frost, as he stumbles along, a tired smile crossing his lips. He may be exhausted, but Jack Frost sure as heck had fun. He collapses into his private ''nest'' of blankets and pillows, clinging onto his staff even in sleep. Frosty doesn't notice a tendril of black curl along his beloved shepherd's crook, and worm its way into his very skin

**. . .**

Our cold-blooded hero wakes up, groggy and disoriented. He scratches his head, licking his chapped lips, only to jerk his hand away. 'WHA?! Why is my hair so long?!' Jack makes a mirror of ice, his jaw hitting the floor at seeing his hair a good foot longer. He scrables around in his head, trying to come up with a decently logical explanation. 'Calm down Frost and **think.** How much does hair grow? 1/2 inch per month. So far, so bad. It's about *deep breath*, a foot longer . . . Oh. Oh, man . . . Two years. I-I was tired after that storm, but two, stinkin', _years_ asleep?! ' Frostbite starts to panic.

Then cold (no pun intended) realization hits. Jack thinks of how much of Jamie's life he's missed. He thinks of how long he hasn't done his job. Finally, he wonders if the Guardians have forgotten him. Frosty gingerly picks up his staff, holding it in front of him like a shield. He gets ready to face a world that may have completely changed. As he pulls up his hood, he doesn't notice what else has changed about himself.

"Oi! Ankle Biter! Long time no see!" Jack jumps a few feet at Bunnymund's unusually cheery voice. Jack asks how long he's been asleep, bracing himself for the worst. "A good two-" Jack gulps,"days." Frostbite's eyes nearly pop out of their sockets. "Then how do you explain **this.**" Jack is somewhat surprised at his higher voice, but chocks it up to sleep. He reveals his long hair, relief and wonder flowing into his system at the same time. Bunny's eye starts to twitch in a way that would usually make Jack laugh his head off. Well, that's probably Bunny beats him too it. The now hyperventilating 'rabbit' manges to cough out that he'll talk to North. Jack glares at the Pooka's back, then busies himself with seeing if anything else has changed (via ice-mirror). The list consists of: Longer and thinner fingers, longer eyelashes, thinnner eyebrows, shorter height, and altogether less muscle tone. (Not that he had much to begin with.)

Jack, being Jack, gets impatient for Bunny's report and flies off to talk to North himself. His hair whipping in the North Wind feels weird, but nice. Jack laughs with the gusts as they toss him around. It takes more than a little weirdness to get the guardian of fun down. He preforms a few cartwheels and summersaults, while trying to fit the pieces together. Who says you can't think and have fun at the same time?! The Santoff Claussen comes into view too soon for Jack. But, oh, well.

A black cloud smashes into Frostbite, sending him spinning down to the ground. Needles of black sand ripping through his favorite hoodie, but only leaving scratches, for some reason. Frosty collides with a snow drift, his staff flying out of his hand. North Wind sweeps up a badly shaken Spirit of Winter, while (thankfully) managing to gather up his staff. She pounds and rattles on the window to be let in. Sandy obliges-and is uncerimoniously bowled over. "Jack!" Tooth cries, running to him.

"Uuuhhhhh . . . Food . . ." he grumbles (along with his stomach). Jack makes a mental note to never **ever** sleep that long again. He is absolutely _starving,_ and to top it off, that annoyingly high voice hasn't worn off yet. The spirit sounded like a girl! Another thunder bolt of understanding strikes Jack. This causes him to look down at his chest, since he can see it through the torn hoodie. Oh, brother . . . He, or rather **she**, wraps her arms around herself. Not wanting anyone else to see. (I mean come on, she's in a room full of guys.) You can't really see all that much through the rips and tears, but it's enough. Jack feels a purple blush creep up on her cheeks, _but not for the last time.*_

***A line from _the Hobbit,_ which belongs to R.R. Tolkien. (I'm not quite sure if it's 'and' or 'but' in the quote, but that doesn't really matter.)**

**Base for the Cover is by ZabuKawaii.**


	2. Day 2: E Aster Bunnymund

**I don't own ROTG, or any of the characters. I wish I was, because I'd be sittin' pretty right now, but I don't. **

**One thing I forgot to mention earlier . . . I have pretty much no idea how to do North's accent, so I'm afraid you're gonna have to stipulate it. Sorry. . . -_-'**

**. . .**

"So, Jack, how about we give you a hair cut and fix up that hoodie, eh?" North asks cheerily. Jack surpresses a look of utter terror. You know tha kind. The deer-just-stepped-out-into-the-road-and-is-five-se conds-from-become-a-smudge-on-the-landscape-look-o f-utter-terror. "Um, c-can I be with T-Tooth for a minute? Alone." A deep purple blush spreads down Frost's neck. North and Sandy exchange a wink, while Tooth follows Jack out the door. 'He' takes off his jacket miserably, making the Guardian of Memories gasp/giggle. "I suppose we should start calling you Jackie now," she smirks. "This is serious! I can't go in there! Please, Tooth, do you have anything I could wear?" The Tooth Fairy's smirk becomes a motherly smile, as she pats Jack on the back. She whispers a few 'it'll be okay Sweet Tooth's.

Before she can protest, Tooth takes the offending hoodie, and stomps through the door. The Winter Spirit sinks down to the floor, putting her chin on her knees. A rucus starts up almost immediately, most of it being Bunny's laughing and Tooth's shooshing. A random Yeti walks through the hall, loaded up with presents. He notices the female Jack Frost, and hears the noise behind the door. Without skipping a beat, he continues on his way, as if this happened every day. This gets a smirk out of the half-naked Guardian of Fun, while the Yeti rolls his eyes.

**. . .**

Pitch decides to give Jack a 'break' for now. "Let's see if Bunnymund is still laughing after this . . ."

**. . .**

Bunny wakes with a start, getting a funny feeling in the pit of his stomach. It's like when he's had one, or five, carrots too many. (Which, I might add, he did.) His stomach gurgles, and it feels like his insides are squishing together. A cold chill runs down Aster's spine. He rubs his arms, and gets the fright of his life. Bald! No wonder his teeth are chattering. The rabbit looks in the bathroom mirror, wondering if anything else is wrong. (Good ol' Bunnymund, ever the optimist.)

Cottontail nearly faints this time around. Not bald, human! Talk about adding insult to injury. He briefly wonders which is worse. Bunny eventually stops debating with himself long enough to try to figure out who can help him with this catastrophe. North would laugh hard enough to wake the dead, after, of course, balling him out for waking him up at 3:28 a.m. Sandy couldn't really do anything, except making him fall asleep again and dream this away. The Frost Spirit . . .? Bunny didn't even want to think what he (ahem, **she**) could do, let alone w_ould_ do.

No, the only one that could be of any remote help would be Tooth. Aster pulls a blanket over his head, and slinks to Tooth's bedroom. "Oh, dear, Jack, what do you need no-Omigoodness! Who are you?!" Tooth flashes her wings dangerously, ready for a fight. "Toothiana, it's . . . it's . . . me, Bunnymund . . ." Bunny cringes at the sound of his own voice. He sounds like a lost child! This is humiliating, worse than the time Jack threw a bucket of hot pink egg dye on him. (That stuff isn't exactly a piece of cake to get outta fur, either.) Tooth whispers Bunny's name, carefully pulling off his blanket/hood. A mop of black-blue hair is exposed, along with a mass amount of 5 o'clock shadow. Worst of all, the sharp green eyes have turned dull hazel from shame.


	3. Day 3: Toothiana

**I do not own ROTG (Rise of the Guardians) in any way, shape, or form. **

**I would like to thank Sandgirl555 and Mistichawk for reviewing, and I'll see what I can do. **

** . . .**

The following morning, a grumpy Bunnymund is revealed, (still clothed in a blanket.) As expected, North and Jack nearly fall over laughing, while Sandy smirks in a corner. Bunny had been originally feeling a bit guilty over laughing Jack last night, but that's history now. "The first order of business is getting our friends here some new clothes. Anything you want in particular, or shall we play Russian roulette with Jamie's Mother's taste?" Tooth asks. Bunny grumbles something about 'as long as I don't have to wear a sheet', and Jack just shrugs.

**_. . ._**

"I outta get a medal for the story I had to make up for you guys! Not to mention Mom swallowing the bit about the 'sick friend and her destitute brother' too well. Do you know how hard it's going to be to carry THREE packed lunches to school?" Jamie smirks, handing over the goods. As the two ''models'' sort out their clothes, Sophie asks her brother to stay for the ''show''. It doesn't take much convincing, since Jamie plans on holding this whole fiasco over Jack's head the rest of his life.

This first design is a Sears original, made with special care by some of the finest machinery out there. The medium length brown skirt is accented by small flowers at the hem, (which are being accented with frost as we speak.) She is also sporting a white short-sleeved top. Her garment is topped off with a light blue tank-top, capris tights, and her lovely white hair is tied in a pollyanna.

The Guardian of Hope is decked out in grey jeans, black long-sheeved shirt, short navy blue trench coat, and black combat boots. (What were you expecting, ballerina slippers?) It also seems the former Pooka hasn't shaved yet, either, *sniff sniff* or showered . . . Tooth notices the old spark back in Bunny's eye, and grins knowingly.

North, East, and West Winds (South is somewhere sulking) sweep Jack up, making her glad she has pants on. They swing her around for awhile until Frost gets an evil gleam in her eyes. With the help of three winds, she sweeps Bunny off his feet and circles the room. "Put. Me. Down. Or. Die," the angered Guardian growls. He tries to wiggle out of Jack's girp, but only manages to swing around even more.

In all this craziness, Tooth doesn't notice her wings starting to itch. Black sand crawls up them, and eventually into them. She squeels when her shrinking wings can no longer support her. Everyone turns around in horror as the Guardian of Memory flops on the floor in a dead faint. Jack drops Bunny like a hot potato, too scared to hang on. Aster slowly walks over to Tooth, who is now sprouting blue-green fur. Her ears become longer and her wings completely disappear. Old memories flood Bunny's mind, as he puts Tooth's head on his lap. Even with this rediculous excuse for a nose, he can smell her changing scent.

It only takes a few minutes for her to wake up, and things don't seem to have changed much. People are crowding around her, and Bunny is a bit too close for comfort, but that seems to be it. She smiles reassuringly. Albeit a bit shaken, she climbs to her feet. Tooth raises her arm to see what has happend, and can hardly hold back a gasp. Who's ever heard of a furry Tooth Fairy?! She tries her wings, and only succeeds in wiggling her tail. There is no doubt left, Toothiana has turned into a Pooka. A carrot eating, egg painting, long eared, POOKA!

Bunny sighs. He's been yerning to see one of his kind for countless years, but not like this. At least Jamie won't have to go bargain hunting with his mother again . . .


	4. Day 4: Nicholas St North

**I do not own ROTG (Rise of the Guardians). That is (almost) all. **

** Thank you, Tagicheartbreak, Querty 124, and MysticHawk for reviewing. **

_**. . .**_

Another day, another Guardian, and North gets the feeling Tooth isn't the last one.

_**. . .**_

Bunny starts pacing. How is he going to pull off Easter in this form?! He might be able to enlist Tooth for delivery, but he's going to have to paint the remaining eggs himself. _That_ can't happen unless he's back at the Warren, provided the Warrior Eggs don't go cuckoo and attack him. Then, of course, there's the problem of getting back to his original form . . . Ugh, It's one big mess he just can't deal with. How did this all happen, anyways?!

_**. . .**_

Jack rides the wind, hoping to come up with an idea. An idea about what, she doesn't really know. Just something, ANYTHING. She grips her staff in frustration, still irritated at being a 'she' and not knowing why. In hindsight, Jack was probably let off easy. She could fly, use her powers, spread snow . . . and basically has nothing to worry about, aside from getting her family back to ''normal''. Frosty smirks at the word, her imagination taking over.

She can just see North reading the morning paper, having a cup of coffee (and vodka), home from work. Tooth steps in the door holding a casserole the size of Wisconsin. Bunny's frowning behind an art textbook, trying to concentrate. Thanks to our frosty hero, he's failing miserably. Sandy is leaning back in an old armchair, ''smoking'' a pipe. (There's just sand coming out of it, so what would **you** call that?) Jack is playing footsie with Bunny, summarily annoying the heck out of him, like any good sister should.

Frostbite immediately collides with reality at the word ''sister''. She's going to be stuck like this for the rest of her unnatural days if she doesn't figure out what's going on.

_**. . .**_

Early the next morning, pretty much everyone but Sandy and North is grumpy. Pitch's black sand has struck again. North is now sporting a full(er) head of hair, and enjoying it. Since misery loves company, Jack points out that's how things started for him. North doesn't miss a beat, apparently unafraid of what might happen. "This is all Pitch would do to me, only a fool would mess with 'Santa Claus'," North jokes. Bunny's eye starts twitch again, insulted. Pitch had dared to mess with the Ex-Pooka, why not North?! That's Bunny for ya, sensitive as the day is long, and this day has just begun.

North yawns over a cup of coffee, then gets up to strech. He stretches a little more than he expects. His arms elongate, becoming hairy. His ears become visible in his long hair, which is retreating. The Russian eventually has to bend down on all fours, becoming even hairier. Around half a minute after the transformation finishes, everyone just breaks down laughing. Jack, having no shame, is almost reduced to tears. Nicholas St. North has turned into a reindeer!

The irony of this isn't waisted on any of the Elves and Yetis hanging around. Word spreads fast, when the stables get wind of this . . .oh brother. . . Ever heard a reindeer laugh? Let alone 12 of them? Yikes. Snorting, tromping, grunting. It sounds like the entire world is coming down around their ears. Which, now that I think about it, is.

_**. . .**_

Pitch sneers, then ponders what to turn Sandy into. This transformation business is more fun than he thought. Maybe this could be used for world destruction, you never know.

_**. . .**_

**That's a wrap!**

**Sandy is obviously next, but what's he going to turn into? Are they EVER going to catch Pitch? And what about Easter?! (Alright, that's already been taken care of.) **


	5. Day 5: Sanderson ManSnoozie

**I don't own ROTG (Rise of the Guardians) in any way, shape, or form. All chacters belong to their respective ower(s), blah, blah, blah . . .**

**Thanks Silver-09 for reviewing.**

_**. . .**_

Sandy knows he's next. What would it be this time? A lampost? A dolphin? WHAT? The suspence is driving him crazy. Even to the point that the Sand Man himself cannot sleep. He also has another reason-all the ''attacks'' have been durning the night (well, when the sun wasn't up, anyways.). He's either going to avoid this plague, or find out who started it. Not that Sandy doesn't have any good ideas. One of the Yetis, or elves, may have messed up with one thing or another and been too ashamed to tell North. Jack has been getting new believers, and more power as well, this mess could be one large aftershock.

Yeah, sure. Sandy believes that like he believes a lead balloon can fly. The idea that Pitch is the cause of all this doesn't cross his mind once . . . until about 3 o'clock in the morning. He feels a tendril of sand crawl up his leg. Mind you, this isn't HIS sand. This stuff has an ENTIRELY different feel to it. It feels of evil, darkness, the stuff of nightmares, you get the picture.

Sandy throws off the covers and sees the last of the black sand as it dissolves into his skin. There goes the last guardian . . . But **wait, **Sandy isn't finished, turned, or whatever, just yet. He runs down the hall to North's, screeches to a halt, and face palms. What good will a reindeer do him?! He needs someone who can still talk english.*

He scurries over to Bunny's room, hoping he hasn't gone back to the Warren yet. That darn ''rabbit'' had been threatening to go all last night. Thank goodness, he's still around. Too bad he's asleep. Here's a question: How does a mute man wake someone up? Answer: The hard way. (Which shall probably prove to be painful.)

The poor Sand Man rolls Bunny out of bed, then quickly throws up a wall of sand. He waits a few seconds, then is surprised to hear Bunny still sawing wood. This is going to be a tough one. . . A sand-bulb appears over his head, an evil gleam entering his eye. He soon returns to Bunnymund's room, a bucket of ice water in hand.

**"YEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!" **the Guardian of Hope roars, sopping wet. Sandy makes a few sand-signs to get Bunny's attention, then points to his wrist.

"_You can kill me later, I don't have much time left. Pitch is behind all this, and his sand got me before I could escape."_

Bunny nods after taking a few seconds to decifer the Sand Man's signals. They wake up the others, and prepare to go on the war path. Pitch will pay. . .

_**. . .**_

Later in the morning, the Guardian of Dreams is finally feeling himself change. His arms and legs stiffen, his hair grows out, shading his eyes. His robes become hard, and heavy, like they had been turned to gold. When the last ''normal'' Guardian changes, he becomes a lamp. A plain, ordinary, run of the mill, solid gold lamp.

The rest of the Guardians are too stunned to move. Not an echo of laughter from Jack, not a sob from Tooth, even Bunny's eye doesn't twitch. North paws the ground, nudging Sandy/lamp. It (erm, excuse me, HE), blinks in respone.

".- .-.. .- - .-. .-.-.- ... . - ..- .-. -. . -.. - . .. -. - - .- .-.. .- - .-. .-.-.- .. -.. - -... . .-.. .. . ...- . .-. .. - -.-. ... ... .- ... ..-. .. -. .- .-.. .-.. -.- .-.. - ... - ... .. ... .-.. .- ... - -... .. - - ..-. - .-. .. -. .. -. .- .-.. .. - -.- .-.-.-" *

_**. . .**_

**Sandy has had a lot of time on his hands for the past few centuries, so he probably knows every language known to man. Let's face it, Jack and Bunny do not. I also doubt Sandy was learned to speak reindeer** yet, either. ***

**I mean North was turned into a normal reindeer, not a flying reindeer. ***

**This last phrase in morse code translates to: "A lamp. He turned me into a lamp. I do believe Pitch has finally lost his last bit of originality." **

**P.S.**

**Happy Easter. ;)**


	6. Day 6: Pitch Black

**I don't own ROTG. I never have, and never will. If I did, I won't be worried in the least about a college fund. **

**Thank you TheGodlessAngelOfDarkness, Katyuana, and Silver-09 for reviewing. **

**_. . ._**

The Guardians immediately (after breakfast) storm Pitch's lair. When they go inside, everyone's jaw hit the floor. Is it possible for this place to get bigger?! Bunny recovers first, and asks Tooth if she smells anything.* She just sort of blinks, and asks what Pitch is supposed to smell like. Bunnymund bangs his head into a nearby wall. The woman can't even use her nose! The ex-Pooka doesn't know whether to cry or laugh. He conciders crying about it later, after they've beaten Pitch . . . preferably into a coma.

Bunny mumbles something like 'forget it', and trots off in a random direction. The other Guardians split up into (relative) pairs, hoping to cover more ground. Jack runs after Bunny, Tooth takes Sandy, and North goes off on his own.

Yeah, I know. Splitting up is usually the worst thing you can do in this situation, especially in slasher films. But 1: It ain't a slasher, and 2: Pitch is pretty much powerless (as far as we know) at the moment. (Except for the whole transformation thing.) This is otherwise a pretty smart idea.

After about an hour of looking around, Jack tries to fill the conversational gap. Unfortunately, Frosty isn't too swift when it comes to these things. All she can think of is 'how's it feel to be human', and 'what do you want to do for Easter?' Both of which would earn her a punch in the nose and the silent treatment for the rest of the year. She does the wise thing (for once), and keeps her trap shut.

Surprisingly enough, Bunnymund is the one who starts talking.

"So, Frostbite . . . eh, how's Jamie doing?"

"Fine, Fine."

"Sophie?"

"Good."

This is not what Bunny was hoping for. He thought Frostbite would have taken the hint by now and starting blathering about the annual snowfall in Canada, (or something along those lines, anyways.) The Winter Spirit is as silent as death . . . great, he just thought the d-word. Now he's going to have grim reapers and fearlings nagging in the back of his mind. Just what he needs in a huge, black, dark, cage filled, underground . . . expanse. There's no other word for this place. It just goes on forever.

Bunnymund is pretty good with underground chasms, but this is different. This is a place of evil. Even with this lousy, good for nothing, ridiculous excuse for a nose, he can smell it. Fear. It's not far, either. He can feel a grimy taste in his mouth. He remembers this from his desert deliveries. It usually means the approach of a sand storm, a BIG sand storm.

_**. . .**_

Pitch cackles. So they dare to enter his lair, do they? Then they have the gaul to split up, even in their conditions? This is laughable, and too good to miss. With that miserable ''Pooka'' turned human, his job has gotten so much easier. Now his only problem is that little pest, Jack Frost. No, excuse him, he ment Jacklyn Frost, HA! The boogeyman gathers his remaining sand, ready for a fight.

_**. . .**_

Jack looks hesitantly at Bunnymund. The Guardian of Hope nods slightly, signaling that Pitch is coming. Frosty charges her staff, nervous about fighting in this new form. She's just a girl, right? Pitch didn't change anything else? Bunny lost his speed and some of his stamina, Tooth can't fly, let alone use telepathy, Sandy can hardly move as a lamp, and North . . .? The Winter Spirit is suddenly not feeling so sure of herself. She tries to shake it off, but the feeling keeps on nagging her.

'It's just that Pitch is coming, this is stupid, irrational. I can fly, can't I? I've been making snow the past few days, thet's solid proof. Solid . . . Tiny snowflakes I can make. But can I still freeze things? Make huge chunks of ice? What if I can't? I won't win this fight, that's what. Most of all, the pond won't frezee over, someone'll eventually drown. Maybe even Jamie, because he thinks he can trust me-'

Jack is awakend from her worries by Bunnymmund.

"Don't worry kiddo, you're fine. Everyone else is too, and they're going to _stay_ that way. We're going to make it out of here. Don't go down that path. Pitch is just messing with you, and this place probably is too." The ex-Pooka doesn't say this reassuringly, he states it as a fact. He belives every word, and plans on winning this fight.

Jack is about to thank him, when she spots a huge tornado of sand. No time for thanks now, she'll get Bunny a couple of carrots after this.

_**. . .**_

**In case you don't remember, she was turned into a Pooka, while Bunny is Human.**_*****_


	7. Day 6 (Again): Pitch Black

**In the words of that great philosopher*, I own nothing, NO-THING.**

**Thank you Wilona Riva, Katyuana, and Silver-09 for reviewing. It will always be appreciated, and I'll see what I can do.* **

**. . .**

"Uh, oh", Jackie gulps.

Yeah, BIG uh, oh. Pitch is coming up to them fast, with a very unnerving gleam in his eye. With more than a few doubts, the frost child and ex-Pooka get ready for a fight, especially since they don't have the other Guardians handy, are in unfamiliar forms, and are most likely out numbered 6:1. These facts are not doing their morale any favors.

"You cut right, I'll cut left. We'll blast our way through the lines, and head straight to Pitch. He's out biggest problem, and the puppeteer of this army."

Jack nods, instantly complying. Fearlings go flying, while others become part of a huge glacier. Unfortunately, most of them seem to glide right through the attacks. This worries Bunny more than he would like to say, but doesn't have the time to stop and think. His growling in frustration makes him even more annoyed. Those 'growls' sound like a cross between gargling and snoring! This is humiliating, Frostbite better not have heard _that_. . .

Bunnymund's mental grumbling is cut off by almost getting a stiff kick in the ribs. He recovers easily, but puzzled. Aster can swear he HAD been kicked, oh, never mind. He can grumble later, right now he has a job to do! Pitch's left line is starting to look like Swiss cheese . . . only without the cheese.

. . .

Jackie, still a bit nervous, is pretty much sticking to ninja tactics. She's pelting the ranks with snow and ice (mostly snow), and flying straight at Pitch. She's getting more confident, and is starting to develop signs of having fun. You know the symptoms, smiling, laughing (or in her case, giggling), a bit of trash talk here and there.

"I can see you despite your (ha!) 'snow-screen', frost **child**." Excuse me, until now, she was showing signs of having fun.

"Let down your puny 'shield'! A coward fights from the shadows!* It will do you no good anyways. Your fear guides me straight to you! You worry about Jamie, you fear for your 'comrades' safety, but most of all, you are scared for your own skin! Thanks to your fear, my power is rapidly growing, I thank you for it!"

Jackie's taken aback. Not by fear, or Pitch's tauntings, but by how _wrong _he is. Frosty had put Jamie out of her mind at the start of the fight, and she's more concerned with Pitch than herself right now. Yeah, she's a bit afraid for the others, but knows they can take care of themselves just fine. Something is up with Pitch, but what?

. . .

After seeing the look of pure . . . _surprise_ on Jackie's face, Bunny is starting to piece things together. He only heard the last part of Pitch's little speech, but can plainly see how wrong he is. Hold the phone, it all makes sense!

Pitch Black can make illusions, it's practically his business. At times, he can even make them into reality. All he has to do is put an illusion on Jackie, one that wouldn't be complicated enough to change her powers, and presto! You have five terrified Guardians, wondering whose going to be picked off next, subsequently feeding Pitch's power! That's why Jackie's gender had only been changed but Sandy ended up as a lamp! Not bad Pitch, maybe you're more creative after all.

**"OI! FROSTBITE! It's just one of Pitch's tricks! 'Is 'powers' are all imaginary! Most a' these fearlings are fakes and that hack who calls 'imself the Boogeyman is as fake as they are! None a' us 'ave changed inta nothin'! TAKE HIM OUT NOW!" **Right on cue, Bunny's illusion disintegrates into a pile of black dust.

The reestablished Pooka takes a un-Bunnymund like hop for joy, and quickly strips. He does look awful silly in those human clothes, there's no doubt about that.

Jackie's jaw takes a nosedive, her (or rather his) illusion finally melting . . . leaving Jack Overland Frost wearing a skirt, and consequently giving Bunny enough ammunition to last another 300 years. *Snap!* Did I mention that in all that clothing, Bunnymund also hid a camera? Better luck next time, Frosty.

To cover his embarrassment, Jack lets out a wave of ice. Most of the cavern's floor is covered with it (to Bunny's chagrin), but Pitch manages to dodge the attack. He sends a (presumably) real gang of fearlings after . . . Bunny, actually. He knows Jack's weakness for his new found family, and isn't afraid to flaunt it.

While the winter spirit is tied up helping the Guardian of Hope, Pitch sneaks up behind him.* Frost doesn't notice, until it's too late. Pitch is right behind him, and has Jack smack in the center of a cloud of sand. It solidifies, and traps Frostbite up to his neck, which Pitch soon has his hands around. Bunny glowers down below, unable to do anything. He can't even smash the fearlings, what if Pitch broke Jack's neck in turn?!

"Any last words, frost child?"

"Yeah-good night!"

Jack hardly gets out his last syllable, when an absolutely furious reindeer slams into Pitch. This is extraordinary, considering the two are more than fifty feet in the air. North is caught by Sandy's dreamsand, and seems to be foaming at the mouth. Note to self, never rile up a Russian reindeer.

This little escapade ends with Jack being crushed in a hug, Bunny making the most of the skirt business, Sandy committing himself to learn reindeer, and North bribing the occupants of the Santoff Claussen to ''forgetting'' the matter of his being turned into a reindeer. (Tooth is too preoccupied with the mini fairies' welcome home party to make a resolution.) "What about Pitch?" you ask? He's been humiliated enough for one evening. He'll be back . . . sometime next summer. . .

-End

**. . .**

**That philosopher being Schultz, from ****_Hogan's Heros.*_**

**Speaking of doing, I'll be changing Jack's name to something more feminine, as Katyuana suggested. Using ''she'' and ''her'' to go along with ''Jack'' does sound a little strange, now doesn't it? Unfortunately, that isn't very much of a compromise, since this is the last chapter.****

**That certainly is the pot calling the kettle black. *****

**I could have sworn that was a coward's tactic . . .******


End file.
